Tuesday, August 21, 2007

God's Warriors

My favorite "sinister minister" recently drew his reader's attention to the insanity of the Christofascist theocrats behind BattleCry. I sniffed a little bias, so I took a look at Amanpour's CNN docuganda called God's Warriors and I have to admit, I can think of nothing more vital than pointing out the dangers of those Christian wack-job evangelicals.

I mean...those crazy theocrats at BattleCry are pointing people to Jesus' command to love your enemies (and they even reference John Calvin!). Along with my colleague, I think all Christian leaders should be pointing out this thuggish behavior of "speaking out" and "praying" and "voting" so that we don't become a DEMONocracy under their oppressive strain.

And can you believe the nerve of that Amanpour woman...She actually wastes our time referencing murders by Jews in Hebron and throat-slitting Muslims in the Netherlands, but not doing the hard work of turning up a single Evangelical act of violence? I mean...Christofascism is the greatest threat to humanity. Surely there's got to be more than trying to keep kids out of drugs, pornography, and pre-marital sex. After all...the show is promoted as an examination of how religious fundamentalists are the cause of violence in our political and cultural systems.

I demand of CNN a recount. They need to retract any negative portrayals of Judaism and Islam and focus solely on the dangers of those Christians who are hell-bent on equipping their children to articulate a Biblicist worldview (which we all know is just a pretext to further violence).

Talk about biased reporting!


regressivepresby said...

And imagine, I'm the one accused of lacking nuance.

I shiver everytime I'm in the airport and see a gaggle of HS kids with shirts saying, "Fun in the Son," drinking their Frappaccinos. Truly frightening, wish those Homeland Security folks would get with it. It is probably Bush's fault- I'm sure. Don't know how he'll do it now that evil Rove is gone...

Presbyman said...

I had a similar reaction when looking at the link. How scary ... Battlecry does dangerous stuff like, uh ... hold concerts.

I've had the privilege of conversing on the phone with a young man who interns with Battlecry and he is very polite, sincere and gentle in his faith.

In fact, given the know-nothing, anti-evangelical hate propaganda and bullpoop posted by Rev. Jive, I am more determined than ever to get our church's youth group to a Battlecry/Acquire the Fire concert.

Rev. Brian Carpenter said...

It's easy to mock, but the world is full of people who can't think their way out of a wet paper bag, but who consider that watching CNN documentaries makes them "intellectuals." The mainstream media is working very hard to lump Christians, Jews, and Muslims who believe their own texts into one group and label them "fundamentalists." It's working. Once labeled and properly demonized, all "fundamentalists" of whatever stripe will become personas non gratas. It will be the pretext for persecution one day. We will all be lumped in with David Koresh and Timothy McVeigh. Count on it.


Chris said...

I particularly liked Ms. Amanpour's strategic escalation. Start with the Jews (harmless enough), then go to the Muslims (acknowledge to have a "few" or "fringe" violent sectors), and then you go to the absolute crazies - Evangelical Christians.

Astounding. Tonights piece was so horribly biased, it was all I could do to hold down dinner. I love how the "reporter" was covering the failure of the Camp David 2 summit. She prefaces it by talking about increases in Israeli settlement, then says the talks "failed" without giving any detail, and then slams Israel. It would make the uninformed think that Israel took it's toys and went home when in fact the PLO refused to take back 98% of the land they had come to ask for.

Anonymous said...

So now we know why that Crystal Cathedral was built! It's actually going to be a very large spaceship/escape pod for all of the evangelicals after they go through with their sinister plot to nuke the earth and rid it of all the non-Christians...

But then... of course one should ask... Who would be left to convert to our faith?

(I too like sarcasm. Can you tell?)

Chris said...


You silly little man. When the menacing evangelicals have rid the earth of the pestilence of unbelief, the job is only half done.

At that point, we get to begin the back-biting and heresy trials!

Presbyman said...

In fairness, there are some aspects of American evangelical culture that I also find negative. But trying to manufacture alarm about a positive youth ministry is not something I can abide.

Anonymous said...

I suppose this is narrow-minded, but I didn't watch the series. Having experienced Amanpour's "objective" reporting in the past, I knew what was coming and didn't waste my time with it. You know the old saying, "Fool me once"...etc.

Chris said...

She spent all of five minutes on Islamofascist terror, preferring to talk about how American capitalism destroyed her home country of Iran (as well as giving her family a way out of the country when things got radicalized).

I can't tell you how many times it said America was a greedy, materialistic, soul-less force in world politics. (Don't you just love blaming the victim?) I had to agree at points, but if you want to talk about secularism, it's Europe. The problem is that America is still too Christian (and too prosperous) for the rest of the world.

Rev. Brian Carpenter said...

Wow, Chris, thanks for pointing out Shuck's post. I don't even have words for it. That's beyond anything I've ever seen in my life.

Chin up, Toby. You know what it means when the heretics mock you and say all sorts of evil against you falsely, don't you?


regressivepresby said...

Yes, words do escape one when dealing with Shuckies jive. Prayers for him and those in his orbit, I suppose, are where those words might be best directed.

grace & peace,

John Shuck said...


I apologized publicly for that post about Toby.

Chris said...

Dave (aka Regressive): Amen. I'm becoming more convicted about that not being my first response. I've been studying up on the doctrine of Hell in preparation for a series I'll co-author with Aric. I've been struck by the sadness of God at those who choose to find their delight outside of the ultimate end (i.e. seeking His glory). My mother says I'm a Jeremiah in the PCUSA. However, with the recent lack of tears, I'm more of an Amos. I want to be more heartbroken.

John, you did the right thing by apologizing. I hope you'll publicly recant of your panentheism. Or if you hold that so firmly that repentance isn't viable, for integrity's sake quit pretending that you're anywhere within the Christian mainstream.

I also hope you got the triple entendre of the "sinister minister" comment (i.e., it's common meaning, sinister as the Latin for Left, and the Bela Fleck reference). I think you're a mensch, but I think your humanistic preaching is demonic in how it reinforces our natural idolatrous tendencies. I'll be exploring this topic in my Hell posts, so I hope you'll join in.

Benjamin P. Glaser said...

I look forward to your work on Hell Chris. I am simply amazed how many people do not believe in Hell anymore.

Rev. Brian Carpenter said...

Yes, John. You apologized. And I'm sure Toby has forgiven you. If not, you can be sure he will. He's commanded to.

But you've revealed what's really in your heart.


regressivepresby said...

Chris's posts on Hell, live from Louisville...


come one, you know it was only a manner of time..

and, to quote Oscar Wilde, "I can resist anything... except temptation."


Presbyman said...

John Shuck said some unfortunate things about Toby, but he did apologize for that. I am not Toby of course, but I don't think that should be held against John anymore. God knows I've said some things to people (or about them) I should not have.

I have plenty of other problems with his blog, but that isn't one of them.

Rev. Brian Carpenter said...

Not holding anything against him. Just observing.

Anonymous said...

To all:

I did not read the post in question. I said that I was done reading John's blog and I meant it.

On a human level, I can't blame him for getting mad at me, as I hit him pretty hard in my own blog. I rebuked him publicly and that had to have hurt. I only wish it had hurt him for his good--in bringing repentance.

Keep up the good fight! Onward, Christian soldiers!