Come thou what?

I'll admit it...I long to be the Weird Al Yankovic of Church music but I'm just not talented enough. That's why I'm enlisting your aid. Help me be the melodical satirist I think I am. Here's a starter:

Come, thou Fount of every blessing
Give me what I want today.
Entertainment never ceasing
Paths of comfort line my way.
Not a song penned by some geezer;
Sung in days of hymn and chant;
But a sure-fire people pleaser,
That will make the elders rant.

I leave it to you talented musicians and lyricists to complete the hymn. When we're finished, I fully expect this to become the next great classic of the faith and be included in The Presbyterian Hymnal v. 2.1.